Daily Gifts - Photo Journal Entry

As a busy mom of 3, facing the daily challenges common to humans, I wanted a way to flourish and live my best life regardless of whether schedules were tight, resources were scarce or muscles were aching. I started this blog to document my quest and the answers I was finding along the way.

I love an easy walk any day and I have been blessed with stunning views around my work and home so I started sharing the 'Inspirations in a Pic' posts when I captured photos that 'spoke' to me. I also had these other pictures that I loved but they didn't really offer any messages apart from the fact that they were my favorite things, things that brought a smile on my face each time I saw them.

I started reading the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp where she talks about taking this dare to document 1000 things she loved and the way her life was transformed by turning her focus on these daily gifts. 

I didn't need anyone to convince me. Those other pictures were my daily gifts, things I loved, some that could even be seen as weird to be added to such a list (like road signs for example), but that's the point - we're all unique in that way. So I've started jotting these daily gifts down in my journal and I hope to be sharing the 'share-able' gifts on this blog.

• A welcome shade on a sunny day's walk
• Breathing deep Frangipani fragrance
• Gorgeous Christmas Decorations on a hedge

• Pretty Mailboxes
• Ornamental Palm Trees
• All Road Signs

• The freedom offered by an Adult Swing in the Park
• Red Postboxes 
• The invitation of an empty Park Bench

These always bring a smile to my face, they did today and I'm thankful. 

Pic-Inspiration Post

Just sharing one of  my 'inspiration in a picture' posts with you. I took this picture at Chapel Hill, Brisbane.

Pic Inspiration Post - #seasonsoflife

Just sharing one of our 'inspiration in a picture' posts with you. I took this picture at St Lucia, Brisbane.

Four Seasons of Life Somedays

Seasons. I love some a lot. Others, not so much. Regardless of how I feel about them, they come and go. I remain.

Every New Year Down Under is neck deep in Summer. The day is bright-eyed awake by 4.30am and you can feel the kiss of the sun's rays as early as 5am. The beach beckons and all colours, shapes & sizes of bikinis respond with alacrity. I love the longer days and enjoy the refreshing watermelon on a hot summer afternoon. The season ushers in the storms, some 42-43 degree scorchers, ants and bush fires. These, I dislike.

Autumn swings by just at that time we thought summer would never end. The warmth is turned down a notch or two but it doesn't get too cold immediately. Much of the flowers go on leave so hay fever symptoms have just about eased. Red and burnt orange leaves colour the scenery and eventually begin to fall off. Nights begin to get cooler as a reminder that Autumn is to Winter what Sunday is to Monday.

Even though it might seem to tarry sometimes, by mid June, Winter is already in full blast. Brisbane doesn't quite get below the occasional -3 but we still feel it's freezing. I love the winter fashion - the boots, scarves, tights, gloves and the warm earthy colours. Don't forget the soups and hot chocolates, but that's about it. I don't like the short days. My alarm is permanently upgraded from 5am to 6am and even by then the day is not yet quite stirred. Exercise is difficult because the quilt covers hang on to me with warm firm hands and it is quite easy to pile on a couple of kilos. The Flu arrives in different shades of green and kids are home more days than they are in school (I exaggerate)!

Spring arrives just in the nick of time to save me from the cold dark hands of Winter and the flowers bloom in celebration. Pretty much every store in town begins to sell seedlings and Pharmacies advertise their hay fever relievers. I love everything about this weather! The flowers, the blue skies, the sun that is not too hot, everything. Those that suffer from hay fever do have a burden this season.

It has been said that the different phases of life we experience can be likened to seasons and that we are wise to apply the analogies from nature to our lives. I believe this. I've experienced the Springtime, when new things bloom in my life and everything is rosie. A new marriage; a new car; falling pregnant; newborn babies; a new job; etc. Summertime, when things blossom and grow. A healthy family; swimmingly good job; flourishing business; etc. Autumn, when circumstances change a bit and might get a little uncomfortable just like the cold nippy morning air. Issues at work; anxiety about a contract; a sudden change in relationships; etc. Winter is my least favourite of life's seasons. Loneliness; depression; unemployment; bouts of hopelessness; sickness; etc.

I am learning that each season has it's blessings and burdens, much like the pros and cons of the natural seasons. In a time of financial hardship I learn to budget, make wiser financial decisions, be resilient, find smart alternatives and notice the subtle blessings of life. In a time of sickness I learn to treat my body with more care, to take things easy, and to live one day at a time. In a time of new beginnings I learn that it takes time, hard work and care for new seedlings to get established. In the growth season I learn to enjoy today, plan for the winter and remain sensitive towards those around me experiencing colder seasons.

One thing that has fascinated me though, is that most times, not all aspects of life are plunged into the same season at the same time. Therefore, although your health might be in Autumn, your family relationship might be in Summer; you might be experiencing a tough financial situation, but your health would be flourishing. So many times, we are actually experiencing the four seasons of life in one day. I find this quite comforting as it would be distressing if our health, and finances, and family, and relationship and job were all suffering at the same time. On a bad day, I could feel that the world is against me but when I take an honest stock of my life, I am reminded that there are other aspects of my life that are actually doing fine. Sometimes it's a phone call from a best friend overseas. Sometimes it's a cuddle from my kids. Other times it's my favourite spot at home with the roof over my head, the lights on and a pot bubbling away on the stove. These and many more stick around during the hard times to comfort us, remove the sting from the bitter cold and help us learn the amazing life skill (much like bearing a fruit) called patience.

Patience. I used to think that it meant "Wait". But no, it actually means more than that.  "The quality of being patient is the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like." - Dictionary.com.

There are lessons to be learned and fruits to bear in all seasons. It is easy to be fruitful in easy times, but some fruit can only come in cold seasons. So, I'm grateful for all seasons (most times in hindsight) but I'm most particularly grateful for the mix of four seasons in a day.

I'm on a quest to flourish.

The Struggle with Grace

Grace - unmerited favour; A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence. [thefreedictionary.com]

It's great to receive favour when it feels like it I deserve it. It's difficult to receive it when I've fallen below expectations. It's nearly impossible to give it when I feel it's undeserved. Yes, I'm a mother. Yes, I'm a wife. Yes, I love my family. Yes, I'm committed to my friends. Yes, I'm a team player. Yes I know kids will be kids. Yes, I know we're all human and make mistakes. No, I don't find it easy to deal with mistakes. I struggle with grace.
However, I am finding that offence impedes my quest to flourish. Therefore, I am on a journey to be at peace with grace. To breathe it in and breathe it out. To let it seep deep into my skin until I become fragrant with grace. To surrender myself to grace and release others to grace. Grace is the parachute that catches me when I fall.

                                                      [Background photo: Flickr. Text: aquesttoflourish.com]

Here are the practical steps I'm taking on this journey:

1. Being Intentional - Every morning I wake up, I make a conscious decision to choose grace. I say to myself, "I will be slow to take offence today and I will abound in grace ".
2. Choosing to Overlook - I am becoming aware of when I am getting offended and I am learning to make the choice to overlook the offence. Most times, whoever it is that is involved in the situation is not setting out to irritate me. I am choosing to get irritated.
3. Changing my thoughts  - I get offended because I may have set expectations that someone has not met. Many times, these expectations are not actually fair if I try to be honest with myself. Mentally releasing people from these expectations usually helps me be more graceful.
4. Being Accountable - I tell my kids that I intend to be more patient today. When I get upset, you bet that they hold to account. Sometimes, I wonder if they go out of their way to be naughty just to try my 'patience'. But I know better.
5. Requesting Feedback - I check in with my family to know how I am progressing. Sometimes, I ask my husband and you can be sure that he will be honest with me. I choose to approach such discussions with an open mind as it is easy to be defensive when I feel I had a moral ground for some actions.
6. Re-evaluating Progress - During my quiet moments, I try to re-evaluate how my day went and where I failed in my resolve. When I find the reason for the lapses, I know I have to make adjustments. For example, I find it harder to be patient when I am tired or when the kids are tired. Bring on a combination of both and see me fall flat on my face. So if I'm going shopping with the kids, some extra planning can go a long way to creating a nice atmosphere that encourages me to overlook silly and childish behaviour. Such planning include taking the 18mth old's milk and spare nappies, bringing snacks and drinks for the older kids and taking breaks so that they can have some small play between destinations.
7. Making the battlelines clear - You know how they say we should pick our battles. Well, while I am working on learning how to overlook a lot of things, which falls into choosing my battles, I also like to be clear on where the boundaries lie. That way, people know what is a definite 'NO-NO' with me.
8. Ask for help - I can't do it all by myself. Even supermoms need help ALWAYS. I ask for help as it saves me building up a mental expectation that doesn't get fulfilled because no one knew I needed help. I ask for help because it creates an opportunity for someone to show me some grace when I need it. I also ask God for help because most times I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.

How about you? Do you find it easy to be patient or do you struggle with grace?

Early Morning Musings - Nothing New Under the Sun

Anytime I have cause to wake up before the crack of dawn, it is usually a decision I have made with the greatest reluctance because I had NO OTHER choice. Recently, I had to do an airport run and we had to drive out by 4.30am. I wasn't happy about this at all. Surely, there would be no sensible people awake at this time of the day. It was cold and dark and I felt extremely sorry for myself.

Upon driving out, I was shocked to see that the city was up at 4.30am. Cyclers heading to work (?), a lady smoking at the bus stop, runners doing their thing, cabs, cars, motorbikes. It was a whole new world - the 4.30am world. As we approached the airport, there was even more hustle and bustle. Suddenly I felt silly for feeling sorry for myself. None of these people up and about looked like they were missing their beds one bit. I wasn't alone. Many other people wake up early on a daily basis. Wow.

Photo credit: fitbottomedgirls.com

Nothing is new under the sun. No struggle I'm going through is novel. Someone has gone through it in the past and someone will go through it in future. We're all interconnected, sharing this big world with it's blessings and burdens.

Thanks, community of 4.30am hustlers for the reminder.

Apples & Ab crunches, but only for Today!

Two weeks ago I decided to get on board with prints and all things bohemian, so I allowed myself to be seduced by a pair of rainbow coloured bohemian pants while I was doing my grocery shopping. I was trying on a few different varieties and the lovely chatty shop assistant offered to help so I let her. We made light conversation as you do when you let a total stranger dress you up and she casually made reference to my 'pregnant' belly.

"Ha, I'm not actually pregnant! I had my baby 16 months ago." 

"Oh My Gosh! I'm so sorry! I'm not sure why I said that. Oh I'm so sorry!" 

"Oh don't worry about it! I don't care. People say it to me all the time" *Chuckle*

Last week some random lady congratulated me on my 'pregnancy' and I gracefully said, "I'm not pregnant. My baby is 16 months." She didn't apologize and I didn't mind. Or so I thought. Until...it dawned on me that this was the fifth or sixth reference to my 'pregnant belly'. Then I minded. I'm not sure there is a word like that, but you know what I mean. 

After having my last baby, I was keen to get back into my exercises and even though it took a while to settle into a routine, I was proud of myself when I nailed it. I visualized the weight dropping off and I was so sure my 30 minute intense core sessions would reward me with amazing abs! I'd never done these 30 minute intense core sessions after my other pregnancies, so I was more than a little bit impressed with my new found discipline and determination.

Then my family routine changed and I lost mine. 

Don't you just love it when this happens? Once you've finally settled into something new and things are humming along swimmingly, the waters get ruffled again! It is not funny. Well, I threw all the plates I juggled into the air and when they landed back in my hands, all I managed to save in the exercise department was a daily walking regime, but I just couldn't find 30 minutes in any part of my day to devote to intense core strengthening sessions, or medium or beginner sessions. I am a full-time working mother of three, who helps run a business after work so it was just impossible. I grieved the loss of these sets of exercises but I figured that I would work something out sometime and everything would be OK. 

Then I started getting these occasional congratulatory comments on my 'pregnant' look even though I was wearing my shapewear! 

I whinged to my husband about these obvious side effects of being a MAJOR part of bringing the joys of having children into his life and I expected him NOT to try to fix my issues so I was half listening when he suggested, "Why don't you just do 5 minute crunches every morning and evening? Surely it would be better than nothing?" 

5 minute crunches! I could find 5 minutes! I had a couple of those scattered around here and there within my day. 5 minutes!...and I began to get a little excited until that small voice in my head whispered, "Why start something you probably can't finish? Remember how you felt when your routine changed? Things are bound to change again." Then I began to weave a very large mat with my worry thread. I was worried about what would happen to me if I failed again and I didn't keep up with my new routine tomorrow or next. Oh it is always so hard. Every time I found that 'life changing' solution that I only had to stick to for my life to be drastically changed forever, something happened tomorrow to spoil my resolve. Oh there was no doubt that I would stick to it today, but Mr Tomorrow was forever scared of commitment. What if the kids were sick, or I got a new job, or I for some reason I lost my resolve... As this mat I was weaving grew bigger, my energy dissipated and I was no longer sure I even wanted to do my 5 minute crunches today. Suddenly I was too tired and unmotivated to spend any energy I had left on something I was sure I wouldn't be able to commit to tomorrow. My thoughts were getting dark and my heart was a little cold. It wasn't a big deal but it was a big deal to me. I want tummy muscles that do their job. I don't want people to think I'm pregnant because I'm not. My doctor has even asked me to do this to help with that back pain.

"Don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself."

"You've got all you need to do all you are required to do Today"

"Just make the right choice today"

I felt like these words drifted on the rays of the sun and brightened my thoughts and warmed my heart. OK! I only had enough energy to do all I needed to do today. When I worried about tomorrow, I was depleting today's resources and also creating a habit of doing the same in the future. As long as I made the right choice today to fit in 5 minutes or 30 minutes of crunches, to reach for the apple in my crisper rather than the cake, to pass that extra snack when I wasn't really hungry...as long as I did that today, only today, I would be fine. I always had enough resolve to do today even though tomorrow was always a gamble. When tomorrow becomes today, I would find the resolve to do today again. What about next week, next year, next...?

Shhh! Today.

Whole Grain + Nut Free Carrot Cake Recipe

This recipe was adapted from Donna Hay's Carrot Cake Recipe. 

My kids are fussy eaters and many times my new found lunchbox favorite drops off their favorite list and comes home uneaten. *sad face* Therefore I am always on the hunt for new recipes that are healthy, yummy and tick the school's 'nut-free' requirement. 

I made the Donna Hay's Carrot Cake recipe for my husband's birthday and it was such a hit that the kids wanted it for snacks. I have adapted it into a wholegrain and nut-free version and it got a BIG tick from all the kids and the hubby so it's made it debut appearance as the first post on this brand new blog. Enjoy!

Ingredients

1 cup brown or raw sugar

¾ cup olive oil

1½ cups plain whole grain flour (e.g. whole wheat, oat flour, buckwheat) 

1 teaspoon bicarbonate of (baking) soda

1½ teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon ground nutmeg or ginger

2½ cups grated carrots (about 4 large carrots)

½ Flaxseed & Golden linseed mix; or Sunflower seeds; or any other seeds

½ cup sultanas or raisins

Frosting (Optional but not lunchbox friendly)

250g cream cheese, softened

⅓ cup icing (confectioner's) sugar

1½ tablespoons lemon juice

Method

1. Preheat oven to 180^oC (350^oF). Place the sugar and oil in the bowl of an electric mixer (hand mixer works too) and beat for 2-3 minutes. 
2. Add the eggs gradually and beat well.
3. Sift the flour, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda, cinnamon and nutmet/ginger over the sugar mixture.
4. Add the carrot, linseed, flaxseed and sultanas/raisins and mix until just combined.
5. Pour into either a) 22cm-round cake tin lined with non-stick baking paper; or b) muffin trays lined with cup cake baking paper; or c) 25cm l x 12cm d x 17cm w rectangular baking dish lined with non-stick baking paper
6. Pop in the oven and bake for until golden brown and cooked when tested with a skewer (55-60 minutes for the round and rectangular baking dishes and about 20 minutes for the muffin sizes)
7. Cool in tin.

For the frosting

1. Process the cream cheese in a food processor until smooth.
2. Add the icing sugar and lemon juice and process until smooth.
3. Spread frosting on the cooled cake.

ENJOY!

Fast and Flourish - The fasting diet

Some of my friends have been asking me to share my fasting diet with them, so here goes.

I have a family history of diabetes and during my first pregnancy I had gestational diabetes, so I was informed by the doctors that this put me at a high risk of  developing Type II diabetes later in life. The advice was to make sure I was at a BMI of around 25 which means I should weigh around 58kg to 60kg. After my first child my weight settled around 82kg so my weight loss journey began. I started with circuit training at a Women's health club and eating the recommended amount of daily calories but I was only able to shift a few kilos so I changed to a Fitness First gym. I enjoyed all the class workouts like body attack, RPM and I lost weight at first, then after a while, I plateaued at 70kg and couldn't shift any more weight. After a few weeks of frustration, I decided to take drastic measures so I started what I called a 'cleansing diet' and quit the gym. I ate fruits and vegetables only for 2 days, did a fast on the 3rd day (only ate one meal of vegetables and fruit at night) and then ate a normal diet with anything I wanted but in smaller portions for 3 days in the week and indulged on one day. I combined this with a 45 minute daily walk and I lost all the rest of my weight and got down to 59/60kg. 

As a result of this weight loss, i didn't have gestational diabetes in the second pregnancy. 

5 Years on and I now have 3 kids and went to see my doctor who asked me to do 'what I did the last time' to lose weight. So this got me researching why I had success with my diet the last time and I dabbled into a subject called the 'fasting diet'. Basically, some researchers are finding that when people restrict their calories a number of days in the week (which was what I was doing on my fruit and veg days), this drastically reduces the incidences of cancer, heart disease, cholesterol, diabetes and alzheimers. The side effect of this diet was weight loss.  You can watch this BBC documentary for more information http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xvdbtt_eat-fast-live-longer-hd_shortfilms. 

Christians and members of many religions normally engage in fasting for spiritual reasons. Now research is showing that literally man does not live by bread alone, but also by abstaining. 

I have lost some weight by restricting calories some days in the week, and then eating normally on the other days. At first I was doing 3 days low calorie from Mon-Tuesday and then feasting the other days in the week, but I've started Alternate day fasting. You can google this for more information on the research behind it. I think it's easier to resist temptation since I can eat what I want 'tomorrow', also, it's easier for my body to get into the routine. Here's how I do it:

I eat 500 calories every other day. I find that it helps to pre-plan my meals for my low calorie day and even on the days I do a spiritual fast, I also have to pre-plan my meals so I don't over indulge. I use the fitness pal app on the mobile phone app store. A typical low calorie day's meal would be:

• Breakfast: 1 hard boiled egg (76 cal); sourdough bread with small butter & jam (128+18+8); black tea with 60ml low fat milk and 1/2 tsp raw sugar (25+8) total = 263cal
• Lunch: 1 small 100g apple (49cal)
• Dinner: 50g spinach/rocket; 100g tomatoes; 100g mushrooms; 100g cucumber; 40g chicken breast without skin and 75g carrots: Total = 182cal

A typical normal day's meals would be:

• Breakfast: hard boiled egg, sourdough toast, white hot chocolate with coffee
• Morning tea: Brownie & cake
• Lunch: Sandwich, or Sushi or Rice or Whatever I want
• Afternoon tea: Plantain chips, fruit and yoghurt
• Dinner: Lasange, or Spaghetti, or Whatever I want

On a spiritual fast day, I will usually break with one apple and carrot around 3pm and then eat a light meal at night.

On Low calorie days, I try not to eat things that I cannot verify their calorific values. For example, I make my own sourdough bread and it's luxurious with pistachios, pumpkin seeds, golden and brown linseeds, raisins or sultanas and honey. So to be able to eat this on a low calorie day, I had to determine the amount of calories within a serve and I used the 'recipe' section of the fitness pal app to do this. 

I find that I loose more weight when I do a cardio for 30 minutes in the morning and compliment it with a 30 minute walk during the day, but my routine has recently changed, so I'm eating my lunch in the office at my desk and then using my lunch break + morning & afternoon tea breaks to fit in a 1 hour walk after eating my lunch and then fitting in another 45 minute walk after work to my car. I find it easier to stick to walks only because I absolutely love walking and can walk for 5 hours straight if I am rewarded with good views. So my advise is to find that activity that you love doing and you will have more chances of sticking with it in the long run. 

I am finding that our bodies was not made to eat and eat and eat. We need to slow down the eating some days so that our bodies can rest and repair itself. After my normal days, I feel sluggish at night and can't wait to eat very little just to recover from eating (lol). Also, it is good to feel hungry sometimes and to remind your body that this is a natural feeling and that it will not die because you're not feeding it as usual. This helps us gain self control and mastery over our bodies.

Drop me a line if you have questions or you want to share what else is working for you.