Today's coffee chat is with an amazing Sydney Mum - Susan Myihtoi. She is the founder of a charity organisation called the Motherhood Project Inc and has published a Coffee Table Book - The Diamond Polishers. In my catch up with her, she talks about her experience growing up in an orphanage and how this has shaped her dreams as a mother and world changer.
Who: Susan Myihtoi
Occupation: Children/Family Worker; Founder - The Motherhood Project Inc Australia
Location: Sydney
1) Tell me a bit about yourself.
I was born in Indonesia and
when I was 19- soon after I graduated from High school, I was sponsored to
study in Sydney by my dad. It was a very scary yet exciting new beginning for
me. I grew up in an orphanage in Indonesia, so going overseas to one of the
biggest cities in the world felt like I was a caterpillar coming out of a
cocoon and learn to fly. I studied in a bible college for 4 years completing
diploma in ministry and counselling which then became stepping stones to pursue
my dream to be a social worker. Eighteen years later, I recently completed my
social work degree while caring for my 3 sons and working on the weekends. Lots
of juggling between family, studying and work were involved and there were many times I thought I wouldn't be able
make it, however, I was unrelenting and kept my eyes on the finishing line. Eventually, my hard work paid off and I was able to achieve my dream to obtain a University degree.
2) What makes you passionate about what you do?
As a young girl growing up
in orphanage, I understood deeply that I was given a second chance to have a
family, to do better in life, and I owed it all to those who cared for us with
sacrificial love. I was inspired to be just like them, to work with
disadvantaged children. In 2003 I started to work with vulnerable young
families and their children. I love being an agent of change in their lives,
particularly when I see their children were better off because their parents
were getting supported. It is my passion to work in child protection agencies
and I want to continue advocating children's rights for better childhood and a
better future. Driven by my passion, I published a coffee table book in 2010 with
the help of many amazing friends, and at the same time I started a charity
organisation called The Motherhood Project, with the motto: Celebrating Motherhood; Cherishing Children. The profits from the books go to help out vulnerable
mothers and children in Australia and overseas. Within 4 years we have raised
over $30,000 and have helped many organisations in Australia and overseas. We
are still growing and will continue to bring change into many more children's
lives.
3) What
is the most difficult situation you’ve ever faced and how were you able to make
it through this?
Relationships can be
challenging, and there were many times in my life when I had to struggle with what
I wanted versus what was best through difficult relationships, either with my
husband or family members or friends. Each time I laid my pride aside and chose
to work towards what I knew was best in the relationships, I grew from the
experience and became a stronger and a better person. Some conflicts were
resolved, some challenges still persist, but the more I grow as a person, the more I am able to see things from a more mature perspective.
4) How do you fit housework
into your schedule?
I
stopped ironing after my first son was born, and only iron certain clothes on
certain occasion. When I worked full time, I cleaned the house once a week, and
I just focused on caring for the children. While juggling with work and study
and church ministry, as long as the children are fed, safe and have my loving
attention, my motto was: the house work can wait. So my house didn’t looking spotless at times, but we
survive it. Having 4 males in the house can be hard work because they don't
care much about tidiness as long as the fridge and the pantry are not empty.
One important thing about housework - and I consider myself lucky for this- is that
my husband helps out with cleaning and cooking too sometimes, that helps a lot.
Also I have trained my eldest son, since he was 7 to help out with house chores
and to help his younger twin brothers. Now he's 14, he cooks his own lunches
for school, helps prepare dinner (when he feels like it), hangs the washing,
wash the dishes and does a few little things around the house. I can't wait till
3 of my sons do all the housework for me (wishful thinking).
5) What do you find hardest
and most rewarding about being a mum?
The hardest
would be disciplining them without getting my anger clouding my reason to teach
them right from wrong. I learn to be
more patient and forgiving by being a mum, children are young and they should
be allowed to make plenty of mistakes. By giving them the right guidance and
daily loving affirmations, I hope to teach them about how to be successful in
life. I love children, so when God gave me 3 beautiful sons, I consider myself
immeasurably blessed. Loving them and being loved back is priceless. Being a
mother of 3 boys just filled my heart with so much joy, when they were at 4
years age, they would fight for my undivided attention and wanted to marry me,
because in their eyes, I was the most beautiful woman in their world. (Mind
you, this doesn't last long, my eldest needs to be coached again to say 'I love
you mum', because teenagers just don't say those words to their mums.. Haha..)
6) If you could change one
thing in your life right now, what would it be?
That I have more
resources to help my brothers to have a better life, here with me.
7) When have you succeeded
at a goal you set for yourself?
When I finally published the coffee table
book ' The Diamond Polishers', at that time it felt like I was giving birth to
a chair. It was very challenging, yet when I held that book for the first time,
there was a deep satisfaction. I was able to achieve
this by God's help, the support of my dear friends and family and persistently
working on the dream. I was positive during the challenging times because I
knew that when I achieved this goal and published the book it would be a blessing
for others.
8) Based on your personal
and work experiences, what are your thoughts on adopting or being a foster
parent?
Both have their pros and cons. I would like
to try both one day. Financially, fostering would be easier as we will be
getting support from the government. Parenting wise, it's harder because
legally the children aren't yours 100%, their biological parents may still have
some parenting right, the child protection agency may also have some control
over how the children should be cared for. However that can be good, because we
will be getting support and input from others, it's like co-parenting with the
children's other significant people. It can be frustrating and rewarding at the
same time. On the other hand, adopting can be very expensive but once the
children are legally ours, we are raising them as our own. We have full
parenting rights over their life and may receive normal parenting support from
Centrelink.
9) How do you balance study and work with family, and still find time for yourself?
Balancing work and studies with family and finding time for myself
was a matter of prioritizing my commitments and managing my time across them.
My family is closest to my heart, so they are always top priority. Practical
ways I was able to fit in everything without going crazy was by scheduling
everything into my calendar including - my kids’ school commitments, my study
commitments, and exams. Another thing that helped me was looking for ways to
simplify my routine e.g. making a comprehensive shopping list so that I don’t
keep making trips to the shop during the week; and bulk cooking so that I had
dinner sorted out during my night tutorials or exam period.To look after myself, I would make time for a daily quiet time or
walk. Other times, I would schedule a coffee with a friend or just myself when
the kids were in school.
10) This one is out of my 'random box', but without checking, can you tell me how many Onions are in your
pantry?
Maybe 8 hahaha.
Thanks Susan, you are amazing!
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