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Coffee Chat - 10 Candid Answers by an Everyday Woman

I am really excited to kick off a new Coffee Chat weekly series. These are intended as a Monday Morning Inspiration (Aussie time) and they feature a candid chat with an Everyday Woman focusing on questions we ladies frequently ask. The aim is to make the series all inclusive so that it is inspiring to a wide range of women, e.g. married and a full time mum, married and working full time, single and working full time, single mother working or staying at home, etc. I am really passionate about these Coffee Chats because by shedding light on how others are approaching their daily challenges and achieving goals in their lives we can all be enlightened and empowered to live our best life. Also, because these women are Everyday Women just like us, we can easily relate to them and realise that we are not alone in life's daily grind.

Today's coffee chat :)

Who: Dalene
Occupation: Finance & Administrative Manager (Day Job) & Business Owner
Location: Brisbane, Australia

1. Tell me a bit about yourself.

I am a Mom of two extremely active kids who love the outdoors and a wife of a loving husband Germaine. We were neighbours since the age of 13 , we fell in love instantly and 20 years later are married for 11 years with two beautiful kids.

My professional background is in accounts and marketing, I am currently a finance and administration manager at a technical consulting firm. I work four days a week and take Wednesdays off. I spend my day off with my two children taking them to various activities, I also try to do my weekly shopping and work on my business which I am currently establishing. My business is called The Power of 12. It is a not for profit organization and the mission is to stir within each women the Power and Will to change their current circumstances and increase their resources so that they have more time for family, and more finances to meet the demands of daily living. There is so much wealth in this world, but it is sad that only a few people get to enjoy it. This fuels my passion to empower women and I have to find the means to fulfill that. The vehicle that I am currently using to achieve this mission is Amway, whose vision is “to help people live better lives." They offer the opportunity for anyone to become a distributor of their products and get rewarded based on the volume that is generated through your network.

 2. Pregnancy – what memories does it hold for you?

It holds the memories of a special time of bonding with my unborn babies. Talking to them and praying for them each day. I vividly remember that sense of awe I had each time I thought of my babies and how God had formed them and how magnificent conception is.

3. Describe your labour experience? 

WOW, it is hard to remember honestly, however the pain that I felt was something I still can't comprehend???

4. Motherhood - What does it mean to you?

Stormie Omartian, bestselling author of the book -  Power of a Praying Parent sums up exactly what Motherhood means to me. “It is the best job, the most difficult job; it can bring you the greatest joy and cause the greatest pain. There is nothing as fulfilling and exhilarating. There’s nothing so depleting and exhausting. No area of your life can make you feel more like a success when everything is going well and no area of your life can make you feel more like a failure when things go wrong.” 

5. What would you say was the best day of your life?

I have had a blessed life and many ‘best’ days, but one day that comes to mind is the day my family and myself went to pick Germaine up from Auckland International Airport where I saw him after 15 long months of us being apart from each other. Tears of Joy and peace swept over me.

6. What is the most difficult situation you’ve ever faced and how were you able to make it through this?

One difficult situation was being apart from my husband for 15 months. During this period I felt lonely, lost and hopeless at times, but through the support that I had from my family and the community in our local church I was consoled during that time. I focused on positive and reassuring words by regularly reading devotionals and the Bible and these gave me hope for our future together. During most tough situations I have encountered, I always look for the lessons and the struggles have made me a stronger woman today.

7. What do you find most rewarding?

Speaking positive words into people’s lives, giving hope and encouraging them to pursue achieve their potential. 

8. Can you share your evening routine and when you are able to get the kids to bed?

Bedtime for our kids is between 7.30 and 8pm. Most days we stick to this time, however there are times where the kids want to read another story or talk more about their day or would like us to pat and cuddle them a little longer. My husband is extremely efficient in this area, he usually bathes and puts the kids to bed, while I clean the kitchen, make lunches and iron our cloths. We take turns, and it’s usually decided on the night. 

A typical evening in our home:

My husband picks the kids up from school; I arrive home at 5pm and start preparing dinner or just finish off dinner if he already started it. 6 pm we have dinner. 6.45pm the kids go and have a shower. 7.15 pm saying goodnight to the family then bedtime story and prayer time. By 8pm the kids are in bed either still awake or sleeping and we do what we need to do for the next day.

9. If you could achieve anything in the world, what would it be?

Financial Equality – It is extremely difficult for me to comprehend that there is such extreme wealth in the world and only a few people share in it and the majority of the world is poor? I would like to change the odds in my lifetime. 

10.  Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? 

Tiny house somewhere with a view

Dreaming in ...Lilac with a pinch of Cream

1. Girls Nursery by Leanna

2. Bedroom Inspiration found on Tumblr 

3. Lemon & Lavendar Possets by Delicious Magazine

4. Lavender Kitchen Mix-Aid - Pretty hard to find these days. Found this on Polyvore

5. Healthy spring and summer soup inspirations by Fitness Magazine

6. Interior Decor Design Ideas by Terrys Fabrics

7. Wedding Flowers by Flowers by Ivy

8. Spring or Autumn Outfit found on Polyvore

9. Wedding cake found on Buzzfeed

10. Easter Wreath Straw Hat found on Etsy

Is it possible to live ‘Full’ while experiencing ‘Losses’?

Is it possible to thrive when circumstances are tough? How do we live satisfied if we are sick, or the bills are unpaid, or our marriage has failed? Bills are meant to be paid, aren’t they? We used the services, we ought to pay. Isn't it reckless and irresponsible to be satisfied in the situation where we can’t meet up with those credit card payments? Triangular trips – Doctor, Chemist, Labs. The loss of perfect health; the loss of jobs; the loss of a marriage. Big losses. Life feels emptied – turned upside down and the very last dredges shaken out. How can anyone even mention the word “Full”? It doesn't make sense.

Due diligence comes next, and so it should be. Return visits to the doctor, the physio, the chemist, and the labs. Take the prescriptions, change them when the side effects mount up. Search for new work. Churn out application after application. Take the rejection on the chin. Try again and again. And. Again. Do the counselling. Work on the marriage. Keep trying. Now, the mental toll begins to mount. Why is it so hard to fix things this time around? This is not us. We usually win. We pace in our minds, turning situations around this way and that. Panic. We are in troubled and uncharted waters and we are not resting on our oars. No. We are rowing frantically, trying to get back to shore. To how it used to be. The past comforts. The past bill of health. The past glory.

But with all the effort and mental strain, loss sits there solid. Confronting. Loss stares us dead in the eyeballs. Bold. Unflinching. Arrogant. In all the panic, we have been staring back, focusing on the giant and being scared stiff. We know it’s just for a season. We hope it’s just for a season. But this time who knows. We’ve never been through this before, not for this long. Just how long is this season going to last? It’s anyone’s guess. This one has gone on forever. The staring giant looks like he’s here to stay. Forever. We have focused on the loss so long that we have memorised every freckle and the hair line. The mental torture will do more damage than the loss.

Break the stare and look up. The eyes, our eyes, they haven’t been lost. We can choose where we focus. It’s time to look away. It takes a while for the lenses to adjust to the new perspective, but once they do we begin to see. Just a change of focus and courage begins to sip into our system like an IV line. Yes we have had these losses but we still have to live regardless. We’re not going to lie down and die. But how to live? How do we do this? How do we not just exist? How do we break this shackling hold and just thrive?

A whispered prayer calms racing thoughts. We are still aware that the loss is there. We are still doing our due diligence, but something has changed. Our perspective. If the giant is staying put then we’re moving away.  There’s life to be lived. This life is not yet lost. The hope is ours to grasp. The flowers are there blooming hard for us to notice. Family is still there for us to love. The texture of their hair. The softness of their cheeks. Those haven’t been lost. The smell of freshly cut grass. The smell of tea. The flower on the kitchen window sill. That bird settling on the shrub outside our dining room window. The familiar greeting of our neighbour. Our favourite nook at home. The fast internet at work. The shade of that old lady’s nail polish on that bus ride. The view from the ferry. Early morning dew. The eggs from our chicken. Our favourite butcher. The postman’s knock. That email from a friend across the world. Ok, make that a Facebook poke.

A boulder might have been taken from our lives, but these insignificant grains of sands and pebbles, these make the jars of our life full. They have always been there but we never noticed their significance because we were staring at the giant. That focus had been on the boulder we lost and how empty it made us feel. Now that the gaze has shifted, we see how the small pebbles and sand make our lives full. The big losses do not empty life.

Now it starts to make sense. Is it possible to live in full abundance while experiencing loss? Yes but only when we change our perspective and recognise that all that really made life full had never actually been lost.

One thing...

Our value remains 100% intact regardless of anyone else's opinions. Sometimes we just have to fight harder to believe this, especially if we are being put down by people we trusted or held in high esteem, but the confidence and peace that comes from letting this truth settle deep into our hearts and minds is worth the fight. 

My Epic Recipe Fail plus 5 Healthy Recipes You Can Eat With Gusto

I love food and these 5 recipes had me salivating at my computer. Before I share them, I must tell you about my recipe fail this week. I made Shepherd's pie with what would have been a nice twist - Sweet potato mashed with coconut flavoured light evaporated milk, Parmesan cheese and diary spread.  The epic fail came from the decision to use turkey thighs cut by the butcher into casserole sizes and use this instead of mince. Snap decision - Wrong decision. I didn't realise there would be so many tiny fragmented bone in the mix...The dilemma is this, the food tastes yumm, but it is dangerous for children and unsuspecting adults. Oh and I made double the usual quantity. I can't let such 'good' food go to waste though, so you know what I'll be having for lunch for the next couple of days.

I'm still going to try this recipe again, but next time I'll use diced chicken or turkey tenderloins.
If it works, you'll be hearing it loud and clear!

Here are 5 top rated healthy recipes I am dying to try out. And why not? Life is short. If you get to them before me, please be kind to post pics and let me know. :)

1. Coconut Lime Raspberry Chia Pudding by Skinnytaste

  2. Roasted Pumpkin and Quinoa Salad by Food ideas

 3. Currid Lamb Cutlets with Roast Pumpkin by Australian good taste

 4. Dukkah baked Eggs With Toast Soldiers by Taste.com.au

 5. Chicken-Vegetable Casserole by Better Homes & Gardens

Weekly project update - Mummy's Weekly Schedule

Every week I try to spend 1 hour from Monday to Thursday working on something I love. These include sewing (or attempting to sew), creating artwork and projects for our business.
I have so many interests but felt I had so little time to indulge and as  result most of my projects have been unfinished for a while. I spent many years barely coping with being a mum and working full time and when I added running a business into the mix many other areas of my life suffered. I was really proud of myself when the kids were in bed by 8.30pm or 9pm as most days I still had dinner in the oven by 8.15pm. I kept late late nights because I was trying to keep up with Uni, or setting up our business website and I was constantly exhausted.
After a while, I decided to give everything a break and focus on just running my family, but my passions were burning a hole in my heart and I knew I had to make things work somehow. In order to find a solution, I started doing some online research on how to fit everything in and still flourish and I stumbled upon a few blogs and websites. One of the blogs that made a huge impression on me with the wide range of planning resources was Planning with kids. Nicole, the blog author, encourages readers to schedule time to do even basic things like meal planning and 15 minute tasks around the house. After taking a look at her timetable, I was inspired to draw up a basic schedule with the calendar on my phone. This worked for a while but I needed something visual to put up on my fridge, and since I love spreadsheets I allocated last week's slot of weekly project time to creating a weekly schedule that would fit in everything I am currently doing including spending one to one time with each child and playtime. I was also keen to get this out of the way as I am about to start my MBA around the same time my Demi Pair leaves which means a major shake-up in my routine. *OMG*
By the end of last week, I was happy with my schedule and so far, it has been working out for me around 80% of the time. I still have to be disciplined with sticking to my bedtime, but I'm pleased with my progress. I realise life is constantly work in progress, so I will be tweaking the schedule as things changed, but I would like to share it with you below.
I have tried to fit in Uni work towards the weekend and extend my bedtime by 1 hour but I've made up for it with a 1 hour sleep in the next two days.
If you would like me to send you a draft spreadsheet, I'd be happy to do so if you send me a message with your email address.

Found & Loved - Favorite Pinterest Finds

Here are 6 pins I found & loved from Pinterest

10 things new Dads need to know about new Moms. I absolutely loved the read and you can find it here. I totally agree with the 'not having anything to wear' point.  

Ok, this point is still a work in progress for me, but I loved the reminder. 

I struggle to remember this especially with my first because she is tall and has all these little siblings... great reminder. 

This pin about single parents from momastery. I have huge respect for single parents. 

I am still trying to work out which of my kids are introverts and extroverts. These are amazing principles regardless of whether the kids are introverted or extroverted. Read it here .

Book Review - I highly recommend this Parenting Book

I am currently reading the Parenting Book by Nicky & Sila Lee and I must say it has been a very refreshing read. I do the bulk of my reading during my commute to and from work which averages 2 hours every day and I alternate between various books and monthly magazines. However, because of the brilliant, easy-to-read way that Nicky and Sila have approached this book, I find myself looking forward to the days I've scheduled to read it.

What I love about the book:

 The funny illustrations that usually draw from the issues being discussed on the page. 

Nicky and Sila break up sections of the book to insert their personal stories.

Helpful lists are presented in a text-box format in many chapters making them easy to find later

Chapters end with a 'Pause and consider' list which leads the reader to actually apply the lessons discussed to their own personal situation.

One thing I've learned:

I tend to intervene in every fight and squabble between my kids but in the book, the authors encourage parents to allow kids settle their fights and disagreements and only intervene if things are getting out of hand e.g. they are getting physical. Letting them settle issues on their own teaches them skills they will need to interact and resolve conflict with people in the outside world. 

Feel like it's the book for you?  Find it here on Amazon 

7 Items Worthy of Your Kitchen & Dining Wishlist

#1 - This chrome extendable pantry storage solution. If you're in Australia you can find them at Kmart Australia

#2  - These Elka Bowls from Pillow Talk

#3 - This Egg & Fruit basket set from Temple & Webster

#4 - This quirky Madrid oil bottle from Freedom

#5 - This Kimono teapot from House

#6 - These swatch mugs in half moon From the Owl

#7 - This hanging storage chrome basket from Freedom

Sultana, Oats & Coconut Cookies (Nut-free & Cholesterol-free)

These delicious healthy cookies are crunchy, chuck full of whole-grains and cholesterol free.

Time:
Prep: approx 20 minutes
Cook: approx 20 minutes

Ingredients
1 cup wholemeal self-raising flour
1 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup raw sugar
1/2 cup sultanas
1/2 cup desiccated coconut
120ml olive oil
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon boiling water
1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
extra water during mixing (approx 2 - 3 tablespoons)





Method

1. Preheat Oven to 190°C/170°C fan-forced.
2. Using some oil, grease 2 large baking trays and line with baking paper.
3. Sift flour into a large mixing bowl and mix in rolled oats, sugar, sultanas, desiccated coconut and salt.
4. Pour oil and honey into a saucepan over medium-low heat. Cook while stirring for about 3 minutes until mixture bubbles slightly.
5. Combine boiling water and bicarbonate of soda in a bowl. Stir this into the oil and honey mixture. The mixture will froth. Add to the flour mixture and stir to combine.
6. Add the extra water, 1 tablespoon at a time until you have a mixture that sticks together (like mince meat). You want it just wet enough to roll into balls without falling apart. 
7. Wet your hands in some water (this makes rolling easier) and half tablespoons of the mixture into balls. Place balls about 5cm apart on the baking trays and flatten slightly. 
8. Place in the oven and bake for approximately 12 to 15 minutes or until golden brown. 
9. Cool completely on trays and serve or store in cookie jars. 

These made 54 small cookies with a calorie count of 65 cal each. 

Variations

1. If you want these to reduce the saturated fat, swap the coconut with whole sunflower seeds.
2.  Add some diced fresh fruit for a fresh twist. 
3. Add 2 more tablespoons of honey to the oil mixture and reduce sugar to 1/4 cup. 

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One idea for Pantry re-organisation

Today I enjoyed bring some long overdue order to my pantry. I re-purposed old honey, jam, tomato sauce, etc bottles for pantry storage. To make the labels, I downloaded some free printable templates and I have shared some links below. I have used some black duct tape to cover bottle labels that came off partially during the dishwasher cycle and the labels have been stuck on with wide clear sticky tape. I have run the wide sticky tape over the front of the labels to protect them from stains & dust.
This project only cost me the $2.00 it cost to buy extra sticky tape.

Lots of free printable labels can be found on the Better Homes & Gardens website and Pinterest.

Today, take your time.

Today.

It's yours. Don't let it slip away. 

Take your time to breathe today in, the bits you loved, deep into your lungs and your soul.

Take time to breathe out the anxieties, the rushing and the stress.

Your coffee. It's yours. Take time to remember it's aroma.

Your food. It's yours. Take time to let the taste sink into your tongue.

Today, remember that if these were the only gifts you had, you were blessed to have them at all.

Quiet! Still your anxious thoughts.

The Christmas bells have stopped jingling and the fireworks that ushered in the New Year are now kilobytes in memory sticks. A new Calendar with brand new months to live present a long list of aspirations, increasing responsibilities as the family grows and parents age, potential career progression opportunities, new movies to add to our 'haven't had time to watch' list and new books we must try to read this time around.

Work has begun and the hours drag on but there aren't enough of them to do what we really want (need) to do. The weekends whiz by as they do and with them the new year resolutions start to slip away 'again'. The mind begins to worry. Am I doing it right? Is this déjà vu or am I actually growing, becoming better, beginning to flourish or whatever? Is anything changing in my life for the better or is it just a mirage, a distant hope, a spiderweb in my cluttered mind?

  
                                                                                                                                 Cubberla Creek, Chapel Hill, Brisbane.


All this worrying doesn't help, it just muddies the waters and it's hard to see the direction one is swimming. Anxiety is meaningless but it's a familiar drug. It doesn't serve any useful purpose but it's easy to pick it up as a daily hobby.

Remember. Today, your life is full. You are where you should be, doing what you are supposed to be doing. You have all you need to achieve all that is required of you today. Rest deep in this thought. Quiet, oh anxious mind. Still yourself. All the worry and flailing thoughts sap all the energy. In quietness and rest we find the strength to live each day best.

Today I loved...

Early morning raindrops, dripping down bright green leaves. 

Cool wind on my face, raindrops dripping onto my hair and shoulders. A welcome change from the humid warmth of the past week. Quiet morning walk while my offspring slumber. Peace & Calm before the hustle and bustle of the day. Daily gifts, received, unwrapped and enjoyed. When I take the time to receive, to notice, I remember that life is always blessed. Full. #Thankful

Daily Gifts - Photo Journal Entry

As a busy mom of 3, facing the daily challenges common to humans, I wanted a way to flourish and live my best life regardless of whether schedules were tight, resources were scarce or muscles were aching. I started this blog to document my quest and the answers I was finding along the way.

I love an easy walk any day and I have been blessed with stunning views around my work and home so I started sharing the 'Inspirations in a Pic' posts when I captured photos that 'spoke' to me. I also had these other pictures that I loved but they didn't really offer any messages apart from the fact that they were my favorite things, things that brought a smile on my face each time I saw them.

I started reading the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp where she talks about taking this dare to document 1000 things she loved and the way her life was transformed by turning her focus on these daily gifts. 

I didn't need anyone to convince me. Those other pictures were my daily gifts, things I loved, some that could even be seen as weird to be added to such a list (like road signs for example), but that's the point - we're all unique in that way. So I've started jotting these daily gifts down in my journal and I hope to be sharing the 'share-able' gifts on this blog.

• A welcome shade on a sunny day's walk
• Breathing deep Frangipani fragrance
• Gorgeous Christmas Decorations on a hedge

• Pretty Mailboxes
• Ornamental Palm Trees
• All Road Signs

• The freedom offered by an Adult Swing in the Park
• Red Postboxes 
• The invitation of an empty Park Bench

These always bring a smile to my face, they did today and I'm thankful.